draft-ietf-ltans-reqs-02.txt: Editorial comments

["Carl Wallace" <cwallace@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

This thread captures the editorial comments from Larry's and Denis' emails
regarding the -02 draft of the long-term archive service requirements
document.  For each item, an indication of acceptance or a response is
provided.  The comments have been numbered sequentially prefaced by document
section number.  Non-editorial comments will be addressed in separate
threads.

Front Matter
FM-1) Capitalize words in the title
	- Accepted

FM-2) Use "Long-Term" instead of "Long Term" throughout the document.
	- Accepted

Section 1
1-1) In the first paragraph of the introduction, use 'required lifetime'
instead of 'useful lifetime'
(in sentence 2) and 'lifetime' in sentence 3 instead of "lifetime of
digitally signed data"
	- Rejected.  I think "useful", or possibly "valuable", is preferable
to "required" in this case.  In sentence 3, "lifetime of digitally signed
data" is necessary to establish the context for the remainder of the
sentence.

1-2) Change "...via an internet" to "...via the Internet"
	- Accepted

1-3) Put a comma between "asserted at" 
	- Accepted

1-4) There are two (unspecified) typos in the first sentence
	- Partially accepted.  The spelling of technical was corrected.
What's the other typo?

1-5) The third paragraph needs to be revisited because it is inappropriate.
	- Rejected.  The paragraph does not state that the LTA is performing
the validation.  It states that the LTA is supporting validation (presumably
through provision of evidence).  However, I would see LTA-side validation as
being a reasonable service.

1-6) Delete the first sentence in the fifth paragraph.  What is "something"?
	- Partially accepted.  Replaced something with "a claim" and left
the sentence in place.

1-7) Delete the last sentence of the fifth paragraph and refrain from using
the words notary and notarization.
	- Pending.  References to notaries and notarization remain pending
further discussion on the list regarding notaries and notarization.

1-8) Add three new terms
	- Pending.  New terms will be added pending further discussion on
the list regarding archive policies.

Section 2
2-1) Section 2 needs a preface.
	- Suggested text accepted.

2-2) "Arbitrator" is defined but not used.
	- Pending.  Other text may need to change to support the inclusion
of this definition.

2-3) Write out 'long-term archive service' since it is  a forward reference
	- Accepted

2-4) Define 'attestation'
	- May drop usage of the term (one of two instances has already been
replaced).  

2-5) "Originator" is defined but not used.
	- Pending.  Other text may need to change to support the inclusion
of this definition.

2-6) Various RFC3161, TSA and timestamp suggestions
	- All accepted

Section 3
3-1) In General Principles, expand on "textual data or images". 
	- Suggested text accepted

3-2) The statement "a long-term archive service preserves archived data
objects over arbitrarily long periods of time" reads like a definition and
seems to preclude services from only offering to preserve data for a
specified period of time.  
	- Suggested text accepted

Section 3-3) Replace the last sentence on page 6 with the following: "A long
term archive service provides material that may be used to demonstrate the
existence at a given time of archived data objects, and both the integrity
and authenticity of these archived data objects (i.e. that they originate
from servers under the responsibility of a given long term 
archive service."
	- Why does it matter what servers the data objects originate from?
The integrity is since submission (regardless of the servers that have
handled the data) or before submission in the case of signed data.  

Section 4
4-1) Replace "This section describes requirements for a long-term archive
system" with "This section describes the requirements for the protocol for #
accessing a long-term archive system."
	- Partially accepted.  The requirements aren't limited strictly to
accessing a long-term archive system.   Appended "and for the data formats
associated with data preservation" to the suggested text.

4-2) Change "permit clients to perform the following" to "permit clients to
request the following"
	- Accepted

4-3) Change "submit data and receive an acknowledgement or proof of deposit"
to "submit data objects for archive"
	- Accepted

4-4) Move "submitters must be able to specify an archivation period" to
bulleted list
	- Accepted

4-5) Remove the "Rationale" subsection heading
	- Pending.  May remove or may provide additional detail under the
Rationale subsections.

4-6) Add text describing new terms (e.g. cryptographic maintenance and
related terms)
	- Pending.  Will add additional sections pending outcome of list
discussion regarding archive policy.

Section 4.2
4.2-1) "Non-repudiation of data" is not a well defined service.
	- Accepted with alternative text.  Appended "existence at and
integrity since a point in time" to "non-repudiation of data".  
	

Section 4.3
4.3-1) Some of the requirements are in the rationale section
	- Pending.  Some sections may be significantly rewritten depending
on the discussing related to content-focused operations.

4.3-2) This section should be merged with the previous section.
	- Pending.  Integrity-focused text will be merged with previous
section.  New text regarding content-focused operations may be added here.

Section 4.4
4.4-1) A reference for certificate policy is called for.
	- Accepted.  Added a reference to the CP/CPS framework.

4.4-2) Text should be changed to reference "cryptographic maintenance
policy".
	- Pending.  Text will be modified pending list discussion regarding
archive policy.

Section 4.5
4.5-1) Comment regarding support for AES and CMS is confusing
	- Accepted.  Removed sentence.   

Section 4.6
4.6-1) Need to state functional requirements for transfer more clearly
	- Accepted.  Will rework this section.

Section 4.7
4.7-1) Add "a document and its translation into another format" to the items
considered in this section
	- Accepted

Section 6)
6.1) Text should be modified to refer to the cryptographic maintenance
policy.
	- Pending.  Text will be modified pending list discussion regarding
archive policy.

Section 8
8-1) Split references into normative and informative
	- Accepted.  All references have been categorized.

8-2) Add references to records management practices.
	- Pending.  Any particular references in mind?