OK, here's a suggestion that partially addresses your concerns:
(1) the XML format always uses lower case form of header field names in element names. Therefore, when mapping from RFC2822->XML, all field names are converted to lowercase.
(2) software that generates RFC2822 from the XML creates "conventional case" output for those header fields for which it knows the conventional casing.
(3) software that generates RFC2822 from the XML creates all-lower-case output for any other header field names.
I note that items (2) and (3) are not within the scope of the XML message format specification.